Later in my memoir I tell you about the bar girl in patong Beach, Thailand I took back to my room and fucked. This is the reason I took her? She reminded me of the chick in this Bowie Video.
I am anticipating going back to the UK this summer. This is my fifth year in China and every year, in the summer, I go back to visit my family.
So anticipation is high. But the weather – Oh, Man, the weather.
England in the Rain
England in the rain, rain, rain
Summer gurgles down the drain, drain, drain
It messing with my brain, brain, brain
The weather is a pain, pain, pain
Its just precipitation
Falling on this nation
And a damp sensation
It’s the constant plip, plip, plop
Of the rains drop, drop, drop
Will it ever stop, stop, stop
The waters slop, slop, slop
Oh, it’s just some little showers
It’s just great for the flowers
But it’s raining for hours
The clouds have superpowers
It’s the splish, splish, splosh
Our worlds awash, awash, awash
Over my galosh, galosh, galosh
I don’t josh, josh, josh
Theres a certain deliquescence
Of my personal assemblance
That creates a certain ambivalence
To my soggy appearance
Its just England in the rain, rain, rain
Pouring down the window pane, pane, pane
When the rains on the plain, plain, plain
I’d rather be in Spain, Spain, Spain.
Currently free just for this weekend. A brutally honest account of living, loving, working and fucking in China (and Thailand*) (Oh and the Philippines*) (*Ladyboys might have been involved)
Find out more – what have you got to lose? IT’s FREE For Fuck Sake.
Just please give it a great t review.
This blog is to commemorate the first sale of my book The Adventures of Doctor X in China. Yes it was to a friend – but its still my first.
Here is the proof.
You can get the ebook here
Or just look at a pretty China Girl
You can read all about my fun and games with China Girls in my book – it was fun.
My book has now been published on Amazon
You can order it here The Adventures of Doctor X in China
You are reading the blog, now you can read the book, It is available for pre-order on Kindle.
The is the link – click here – thank you
Shortly to be available on Kindle and other devices, and in real paper too if you so require.
Bright lights flashed from my right hand side, blinding me. ‘Oh Fuck.’ And then I woke up.
It was dark and I was lying on wet tarmac, a gentle rain was splattering down on my face. My jeans were wet and I was cold. I could hear someone calling my name. ‘Doc, Doc , Doctor.’ Insistent. A Glaswegian voice harsh and cracked, ‘Doc fer fucks sake man.’ Angus.
I put my hands to my head; there was a large bump and my foot hurt. I sat up – dazed and unsure. There was a bustle of people behind me. An ambulance stood with its door open – bright light flooding out. Blue and red lights flashed. A small grey van was parked at an angle on the junction I had been crossing on my motorbike.
I could see the driver having a smoke and laughing with a couple of policemen. Chinese policemen. ‘Doc fer fuck sake.’ I stood up and unsteadily walked over to where Angus lay surrounded by paramedics. His ankle was broken, his face covered with blood where he had hit the ground teeth first. I grabbed his hand.
‘Fuck sake,’ He said, ‘I thought ye was dead, I’ve been callin and callin.’
‘I’m sorry mate.’ Tears formed in my eyes.
‘Nay bother man, it was an accident.’
We had been down the Blue Marlin, our local bar in Xianlin, a district of Nanjing. We were all English teachers. That dark October night we had planned to go downtown drinking. I had offered Angus a ride back to our apartments to change out of our work clothes. The Chinese driver had sideswiped us as we drove across a junction, out of the safety of the wide cycle paths.
Angus was pushed into the ambulance. I wandered off shivering with cold and shock. I didn’t know what to do. Two Australian women came over and told me to ‘fuck off out of it’.
They didn’t know how prophetic their words would be.
I fucked off.